Something I'm learning to enjoy through my interactions with computers is that what exists in digital space came out of some weird place in someone's brain, somewhere, so that it can stimulate some weird place in the brain of the user, here. Digital text is such an odd platform because many brains have been trained to convert characters into ideas and information, but somehow the computer distorts the distance between a reader and the idea into an archive even more foreign than physical literature. My experience activating "bot or not" online widened the gap between where I was, what I understood, and the computer I was using. The website made me feel bamboozled - tricked into believing that what I read was generated by a bot simply because I was told that it was a bot, and even more so uncertain if the activity was meant to kindle intrigue or frustration. A bot only knows that which it is told to consume.
It wasn't until I took some space that I realized how crushed and suffocated I feel/have felt. While in tears on the plane back to my reality I wrote a few poems that found me. I want to make a piece using this writing that attempts to visualize my internalized stressors. We'll see how this goes! Don't worry, I'm fine.
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